The pain from a loss due to miscarriage is unlike anything like you might experience in your life – and it’s a unique experience to one’s infertility, or rather fertility, journey. I’ve been fortunate, that although I’ve had a rough infertility journey, I did get pregnant each and every time I did IVF. I was even lucky enough to get pregnant on my own. But, unfortunately, some of those pregnancies didn’t make it past the first two months and ended with a miscarriage. I am not sure which is worse, getting that amazing news that the IVF worked and you’re pregnant only to be let down a few weeks later that you lost it; or is it better to just “cut your losses” and hear that the cycle didn’t work and you’re not pregnant.
Now all these years later I can finally get through a conversation saying, “I had a miscarriage – rather miscarriages” without welling up with emotion. Well, sort of get through it – some days it is still hard to get the words out without tears. Some days out of the blue I’ll see a pregnant woman or a newborn and find myself stopped in my tracks on the verge of tears. I will never forget the pain of those first miscarriages before my oldest was born. Or even the pain of my third miscarriage in between the births of my children. Looking back, I see that each miscarriage brought a unique sense of emotional pain, road to recovery (both physical and mental) and ensuing journey forward. Continue Reading