Mama Said

Mom Teaching DaughterA few weeks ago, I interviewed my husband as the first post featuring other peoples’ perspectives of the infertility struggle. I thought it was important to feature a different female perspective (from my own) so this post will feature my Mom. Now as a mother myself, I can only imagine how difficult it was to be in my mother’s shoes during our infertility battle. Mothers try to eliminate pain for their children so that they don’t have to suffer through life. Things must have been very hard for her to have to watch us go through our struggle and simultaneously remain strong and positive for us. But, my mom was an amazing and a supportive person while we were traveling on our bumpy road and I’m grateful to have her as my mom (both then and now).

Here it goes:

Me: I assumed you had high hopes for one day becoming a grandmother. Did you ever think that I would have any trouble?

Mom: I think every parent looks forward to the dividend of grandchildren.  Since we already had two beautiful grandchildren from our oldest child that were conceived and born without any problems, the thought of conception problems never entered my mind.

Me: How did you take the news when I (and my husband) informed you about their infertility struggle?

Mom: Thinking back on it now, I don’t recall feeling helpless.  Certainly, it was so disappointing.  I did feel hopeful that with all the advances in infertility treatment, that there would be a way for your doctors to help you.  They were always positive in their comments and promised that you would become pregnant.  I believed them … maybe because I wanted to so much.  After all, desperation makes you want to believe.  After seeing how you and your husband went about tackling the situation, I felt confident that you would succeed … and YOU DID!

Me: How do you think you best helped my husband and me during our struggle?

Mom: I hope that I did help you both.  Your father and I were always in the loop and always supportive.  We were ready and willing to do anything to help.  Of course, your Dad, in-laws and I became regulars at the fertility clinic.  Don’t know if that was embarrassing for you, but we needed to be there to support both of you.  I hope that we helped. There is always a bond between mother and child.  You, my child, needed my emotional support to get to be a mother yourself and I wanted to help you reach that goal.  No need to go into details on that!

Me: What was the lowest point you experienced during this time in your family’s life?

Mom: The lowest points for me were when you experienced YOUR worst pain … miscarriages, surgeries, etc.  Of course, during this entire process, my own mother passed away.  It was so very sad for me that she wasn’t here to see how you overcame such multiple hardships and brought two fantastic boys into our family.  She would have been over the moon.

Me: One of your other children was pregnant while I was in the middle of my struggle. How did you handle that situation? How did you deal with having to be happy for one child while one of your other children was in such pain?

Mom: That is a tough one.  It’s almost a King Solomon situation.  Every parents wants health and happiness for all of their children.  I guess the first thought for me was that as happy as I was for my son, daughter-in-law and us, of course, I knew that you had to be in pain.  The same feelings had to be yours as well … happy and incredibly sad for yourself.  It was just as difficult for your sibling and his wife – Dual opposing feelings.  But, in the end, all turned out well.  As I often say: “Everything turns out ok in the end and if it’s not ok, then it’s not the end!”

Me: Since my blog offers a humorous take on battling infertility, what was the funniest part that you experienced during all this drama?

Mom: Wow!  There certainly is one instance that caused us all to laugh so hard.  The people there that day were you, your husband, your mother-in-law and myself. The procedure was as follows: you get your eggs retrieved, they check on their viability and then your husband has to “donate.”  Okay, the whole scenario was weird on it’s own … but, then your mother-in-law offered her wishes to her son: something like “Good luck and have fun!”  That was the most embarrassing and funniest moment.  It still makes me chuckle every time I think about it.

As a final note, whatever you hope for yourself, know that I hope for the same for you!

3 thoughts on “Mama Said

  1. You are very lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive Mom!

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